Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Why Be Afraid and Embarrassed

So I thought I would expand the idea of being "jarred" out of the story because of the way a love scene has been written.

Being taken out of the story can happen for other reasons than love scenes. Explicit anything can do that if it isn't done correctly. This is true with gore, profanity, humor, infodumping, etc. But as this blog seeks to discuss love scenes and such in particular I will confine my comments to that.

When I read a story I always try to identify with a character. Usually this will be the main character, but not always. Sometimes one of the supporting cast catches my fancy and I really identify with her (or him, or even it). Generally, the only character to get a love scene is the main character and whoever she is with. In these cases I identify with the main character.

For me, identifying with a character in a love scene means I am imagining myself doing/receiving whatever the main character is doing/receiving. This is where I suppose love senes become especially difficult. If the main character does something I haven't done (or thought of doing), I might recoil. The same is true if the main character has something done to her. This is where personal sensibility can get in the way of good writing, I think.

For instance, suppose I want my main character to be a wild and bold person, willing to try a variety of things. What happens when I put her into love scenes? The likelihood is I become personally embarrassed by her boldness. For just as when I read, when I write I have to "become" the characters. I have to know who is shy and timid and who is dominant and daring. I have to be able to write people who aren't me. With other characteristics it seems I have little trouble doing this. I don't think of myself as being a hateful person, but I think I can write hateful people. I think I can write cruel well enough. But when it comes to sex I'm embarrassed. Here is where I'm afraid to trust my imagination. Why?

I kind of wonder if it isn't because sexual things are so personal. In a way, it's like they cut to the core of who we are. And so the unspoken voice in my head is reading over my shoulder as I write. Everthing is fine. There are occassional comments about this or that. And then I write the love scene. "You find that erotic? That's sick/stupid/dumb/strange/etc."

I could write what I have actually done myself, but then the voice might say, "You did what? And you found that arousing? You don't really do that when you climax, do you?"

It's just so personal. But isn't that what makes a written character come alive? Is writing as much about courage as it is about knowing how to say something?

4 comments:

fairyhedgehog said...

You don't really do that when you climax, do you?

I think you've pinpointed what makes it so hard: it's the feeling of exposure. It's far worse than with violence (which I can't write either).

I've critiqued a few erotic stories on occasion and every time I've done it anonymously.

I think I have to decide how brave I want to be!

Wings in the Night said...

It may not be all about courage, but courage certainly has to come into play, doesn't it?

Sarah Laurenson said...

There's a series of lesbian erotic story collections out there. I've read some of them and mostly have been dumbfounded. How some of those stories got into a novel of erotica is beyond me. But one person's come on is another's turn off.

I think the trick is deciding you're just going to do it and not worry about the result until after you're done. Full speed ahead and all. Don't think, just write. Think later, if at all. That inner critic is stronger when it comes to sensitive subjects and sex is one of the most sensitive ones out there.

Maybe if you try writing something explicit just to give your mind a stretch in that direciton. Not something for publication or even someone else's eyes. Just to stretch that creative muscle and allow your critic to take a snooze.

Wings in the Night said...

You mean, go ahead and use the words and stuff? Kind of shock myself into accepting I can write it?

I've also read some lesbian stories on the web, and I agree about most of them not being good at all. So many are written by people who just want to write about sex and ignore the fact that these are people.

Do they love each other or is this just a physical thing? And even if it is just physical, why? Why not love? What's the background? Could they fall in love?

I guess I keep coming back to that. I want to write love scenes, but I don't want to forget the love.

But maybe you're right. I should just write something down and out "dirty", which has no real purpose except to write about sex. Maybe I could make that part of the exercise you suggested yesterday?

Thanks for your help.