Been reading up on lesbian life in the Victorian and medieval eras. My inspiration for doing this was a website that claimed in Victorian England there were women in 'respectable' society who deemed themselves married, called themselves married, and were treated as married by the rest of society. At the same time, women who indulged in 'affairs' with other women were considered low-life.
Unfortunately, I didn't bookmark the site and I don't recall how I stumbled upon it, so I can't provide a link at this time. But I found it interesting that perhaps we have actually become more narrow in our thinking as time has progressed. My research so far would indicate that no, we're just as narrow-minded as we've ever been, and just as critical of people who don't act (or think, or feel) like us.
Another thing which spawned my interest in Victorian society was remembering a documentary type show I saw a number of years ago about two girls who developed a close friendship. There did not seem to be any sexual behavior between them, but they were 'friendlier than just friends', as their families put it. Eventually they became a scandal and were separated. The one grew up to become an author, or a poet, and I think she was the focus of the documentary. Neither woman would talk about the other, and as I remember the documentary, neither woman was particularly happy with her life after separation.
I finding it interesting that about eight hundred years ago in certain parts of Europe it was women who were seen as the insatiable sex cravers and not men. Men were above that sort of thing. Right.
Well, I don't think that attitude lasted long, because what followed was the belief that women having sexual relations with women was impossible (because there could be no penetration). Right. But this belief hung on for a long time. Still, there were laws made and punishments doled out. The most common punishment was confinement in a nunnery, which explains the reputations some of the nunneries had. I mean, think about it. If you fill a place up with women who prefer women to men it only stands to reason that some of these women are going to fall in love with each other beyond simple friendship. It's really no different than the monastary reputations from the same time, or if one were to confine heterosexuals together.
People are going to fall in love when they meet someone who fills the empty place in their heart.
It's still incredible to me, though, how we, as a (human) race, put so much emphasis on sex and gender. Most people believe we are spiritual beings, meaning our spirit will live on when the body dies. Not everyone believes this, but I think most people do. Just look at how important religion and faith are around the world. So why, if we really aren't our bodies, do we make such a big deal out of what's between our legs and what we do with it? Is it because we have been taught that who and what we are is really defined by what goes on between our legs? Sometimes it seems so.
The research into Victorian and medieval societies is fascinating and I intend to continue my reading. I may stumble again upon that original website, and perhaps I will also find out who the author was. I'm sure she was born in the 1800s. Maybe early 1900s. And I'm thinking she moved to England from Australia, but it's been a long time and my memory is fuzzy.
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4 comments:
One thing to keep in mind is the origin of some of these ideas. Christians got their start rather late in the overall time scheme of things and they were a minority. So the fix for that (and for getting people away from the goddess centered religions) was to make women be meek and subservient and only good for bearing children.
Prior to that time, women were considered the fiercest warriors and some of the best trainers of warriors. Then came the need to foster the belief that women had to be protected and owned rather than independent and kicking ass.
To have a woman be with another woman defeated the purpose of bearing more little babies to beef up the minority.
Rita May Brown wrote a book (High Hearts?) which has some history in the back that might be of interest to you. A lot of it is about the women who pretended to be men to fight in the Civil War, but I believe she also talks about women who married other women and were accepted as if they were men in merry old England.
As a materialist, I think it's really important to let people find love wherever they may because we only get one life and it's short.
Sarah: Thanks for the info. I should probably look further back in history then.
And thanks for the Rita May Brown reference. I'll see if I can get a copy of her book. But she confirms what I read about women in England? That's good. I would hate to think it was just an "old wives' tale". haha
fairyhedgehog: I whole-heartedly agree with you. If people are in love, leave them alone. Don't we all know what it's like to lose at least one love in our life? Why should we wish that pain on anybody?
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