Fairyhedgehog, who has some of the most adorable, humorous, and clever posts has another one: Have You Had Sex.
She links to another blog in which study results are listed. Included in those results is the statistic that 95% of respondees considered penile-vaginal intercourse sex. So what do the other 5% think of that? God knows. lol
What I find most amusing about that statistic is I have struggled with the definition of sexual intercourse myself. (Oh. In case you're wondering, this is one of the few times I go with the majority. I DO think putting a penis into a vagina is having sex.)
But then there are the cases of rape. Is that sex? Unfortunately, yes. It's just that sex has become a weapon and not a means of love making.
But enough about that.
One of the the comments to fairyhedgehog's post mentioned "phone sex" and "cyber sex". IS that sex?
And what about this scenario:
A woman goes online. She takes on a male personna. (Why doesn't matter. She just does.) She meets a female personna. They get to chatting/texting and find they are attracted to each other. So, unable (and unwilling to take the risk of) to be together physically, they begin talking about what it would be like if they could be together. IOW, they have cyber sex.
Is this woman a lesbian? Did she engage in sexual activity? I mean, she knows she's not a man. But she really doesn't know if the woman she's been pretending to have sex with is actually a woman. What if it's a man pretending to be a woman?
This whole gender/having sex thing online is very confusing to me.
No wonder I say I'm gender confused.
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6 comments:
I think it all comes down to how you define things. Life is confusing so we like our little labels but they don't fit every eventuality.
I know.
The problem now seems to stem from the fact that different people have such vastly different views of things. And if everyone is "right for themselves", then there are no absolutes.
That can be scary.
Don't kids these days think oral sex isn't really sex?
I had a gf who was visiting a B&D chat room to have computer sex. Was she cheating on me? Turned out to be moot when I found out she was sleeping with our roommate.
I've heard that, too, Sarah.
I can't say I have a definite opinion yet on chat room behavior. One the one hand I can see where the other partner might think it is cheating. Or maybe no.
That's too bad about the real life thing. How did you handle it? Or is that getting too personal?
Actually I didn't handle it for quite some time. After the relationship was over, I started processing all of it. And evetually I stopped being friends with that friend.
I seemed more concerned about what that other person would think if I stopped talking to her then I was about taking care of myself and spending my time and energy on people who were worthy of it.
I'm much better at this kind of stuff today.
You are very wise, Sarah. Unfortunately, I think such great wisdom only comes through pain. Maybe someday I'll be wise, too, then.
But you're happy now. You have someone to love, and be loved by. And you can hold each other and offer comfort when it's needed.
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